WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
(Written by: Jennifer Berman)

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs look at your eyes.
Dogs like your size.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
Dogs don't correct your stories.
Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
Dogs understand what "no" means.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
You can force a dog to take a bath.
You can house train a dog.
You can train a dog.
 

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both like to chew wood.
Both mark their territory.
Both tend to smell riper with age.
Neither does any dishes.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.